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Oh, and get this—in Japan, way back, they had “yuna,” bathhouse gals who’d, uh, “entertain.” Classy, right? Blew my mind! *Inside Out*’s got nothin’ on that head-trip! I’d be flippin’ through options like, “D’oh! Too many choices!” Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d prob’ly hire one just to mow the lawn—Ned’d lose it!

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After a few minutes, the fire brigade shows up. They’re all calm and collected, while I’m just standing there, shivering and trying to make small talk with Dave. “So, uh, how’s work?” I ask, trying to sound casual. He just shrugs. “Same old, same old.” Brilliant convo, right?

Pub 'that is the life of the village' set to return to Kibworth under new management