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Oh, and the drama—exaggeratin’ for fun, ‘course—she’s out there, dodgin’ cops, flippin’ off creeps, livin’ like a rockstar! “You’re too sweet for rock ‘n’ roll,” someone tells her, but nah, she’s badass! I’m cheerin’, jumpin’, “Go, girl, go!” Makes me wanna hug her, but, uh, boundaries, right? Heh, awkward SpongeBob moment!

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I sit down, and as I take that first bite, pure bliss. But then, I notice a group of kids playing footy nearby. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it right at me! I’m dodging again, like I’m in some action movie. I’m laughing, but also thinking, “What’s with the flying objects today?”

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