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About Manchester

Little known fact, yeah? Bloke in ‘98, scientist geezer, found one off Hawaii – thought it was a bleedin’ alien! Tentacles all wobbly, like it’s tryin’ to seduce ya. Idiot sandwich! Couldn’t believe it meself – a fish that’s basically a prossie? Hilarious, but clever – uses them lights to shag or eat, whatever’s on the menu. Proper multitasker, not like you lazy sods.

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So, I’m sprinting down the High Street, dodging old folks and their shopping bags. Seriously, why do they walk so slow? I’m like, “C’mon, I’ve got places to be!” Finally, I hit the beach, and there’s Dave, looking all smug. He’s got this massive kite. I’m talkin’ like, “Why do you have a kite, mate?”

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