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What pisses me off? Cheap parlors, man, them shady joints with sticky floors and no vibe – ugh, kills the mood! I want luxury, bro, candles, soft tunes, a gal who knows her shit, not some bored chick checkin her phone mid-rub. Greed’s good when it’s classy greed, ya feel me? Happiest I ever got was this one time in Vegas – legit, this masseuse, she’s whisperin sweet nothins, hands like freakin magic, I’m floatin, thinkin, “Champagne wishes and caviar dreams, huh?” Surprised me how fast I melted – usually I’m all wound up, Mr. Wall Street, but that? Damn, pure gold.

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Finally, I get to the station, and there’s my mate, looking all frazzled. I can’t help but laugh. “You good, mate?” He just rolls his eyes. We grab a pint at the pub nearby, and I’m telling him about my day. He’s cracking up at the ghost story and the guy in the flower bed.

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