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Hehehe, me, a sailor, huh? Why so serious? Brothels, man, they’re wild ports! Been to one off Singapore—grimy joint. Girls winkin’, air thick with cheap perfume. Reminds me of *Mulholland Drive*, ya know? “There’s a man… in back of this place!” Dark corners, secrets screamin’. I’m laughin’—manic, HAHA!—cuz it’s chaos! Saw a dame there, eyes like Betty’s. Dreamy, lost, but sharp—cuts ya deep. Paid my bucks, got a story instead. She said sailors smuggle opium in mattresses! True? Who cares—wild, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. Turns out, some numpty burnt their toast in the café next door. Classic Llantrisant, right? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the chaos unfold. People on High Street are just carryin’ on like it’s a normal Tuesday. I mean, come on! There’s a fire alarm blarin’, and they’re still chattin’ about the rugby match last night. Priorities, people!

Venomous snake spotted on popular dog walking route in Wales