Charlotte Lofthouse Sex Escort ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Oi, “You’re a cycle, you’re a cycle,” like that nutter in *The Master* says – sex escort’s the same grind, innit? Pull up, pay up, piss off – like drivin’ round a roundabout with no exit! Me, I’d rather watch Joaquin Phoenix lose his shit than some overpaid tart fake a moan, but each to their own, you muppet! Ever tried it? Nah, don’t tell me, I’d have to bleach me fuckin’ ears! Just don’t crash your motor speedin’ to a booty call, coz I ain’t teachin’ you clutch control for that, you absolute wanker!

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After that, I decide to grab a cuppa at the café on Station Lane. It’s cozy, and the barista knows my order. I’m all set for a chill moment. But then, this old bloke starts chatting me up about the weather. I mean, come on! It’s Lofthouse, not a bloody meteorology convention! I nod and smile, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I’ve got science to do!”

‘I’ve been in the business a long time’: Andrew ‘Lofty’ Lofthouse retires from Nine