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Dunno, mate, it’s mad. You’re chasin’ tail, dodgin’ creeps, laughin’ at dick pics – proper circus. Makes me happy when it works, tho – a cheeky snog, a bit of fun. But mostly? Fuckin’ exhaustin’. Stupid, fat hobbit! Reckon I’ll stick to me cleaver – least it don’t flake on me. What’s your take, eh? Spill it!

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Then, out of nowhere, I see this fox! Just chilling by the bushes. I’m like, “Dude, look at that!” But my mate’s too busy scrolling on his phone. I’m trying to get a pic, but the fox is like, “Nah, I’m out.” Typical.

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