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We swears! It’s a hustle, dodgy as hell. Makes me itch, thinkin’ how it’s everywhere—your neighbor could be one! Freaky, innit? I’d exaggerate, say they’re all spies, but nah, just people. Some sweet, some sour. Pisses me off when folks judge ‘em harsh—live and let live, yeah? “You’re a lucky man,” I’d whisper to meself, watchin’ from shadows, glad I ain’t tangled in that web. Sex escort—dirty, shiny coin, flip it how you want!

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Then, I swing by the Longfield Village Hall. They were setting up for some local event. I overheard them talking about a bake sale. I’m like, “Sweet! I could go for some cake.” But then I remembered my warrior diet. Ugh, the struggle is real. I mean, who can resist a good Victoria sponge? Not me, that’s for sure.

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