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What pisses me off? Blokes who judge em. Like, live and let live, yeah? “Oldboy” taught me – “Laugh, and the world laughs with you.” These girls, they’re hustlin, survivin, same as us. Once met this escort, Leilani, sassy as hell – told me she paid her way through uni shaggin tourists. Fair play, I say! Shocked me, sure, but damn, respect. She had that smirk, like, “Even if my life’s a lie, I chose it.” Straight outta the movie, that energy.

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Then, I get a call on the radio. “We’ve got a situation at the pub.” Oh great, just what I need. I rush over to the Ship Inn, and there’s a bunch of lads havin’ a right old row. I step in, and it’s like a scene from a bad movie. “Oi! What’s goin’ on here?” They all turn to me, and I’m thinkin’, “Please don’t make me regret this.”

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