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About Liverpool

Oi mate, brothel, eh? What a bloody shithole! Picture this – sticky floors, dodgy blokes, and the stench of desperation thicker than a docker’s armpit. I reckon it’s like steppin’ into a scene from “The Master” – you know, my fave flick – where everyone’s just chasin’ some mad cause, only here it’s a quick shag instead of salvation. “You’re a rummy!” I’d yell, cacklin’, at the punters stumblin’ in, wallets out, dignity gone.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the square. There’s this market going on. Fresh produce, homemade jams, the works. I’m eyeing this stall with the best-looking strawberries. I mean, they were HUGE! But then, this kid runs by, knocks over a whole crate. Strawberries everywhere! I’m talking a strawberry massacre. I couldn’t help but laugh, though. The poor stall owner was just standing there, mouth agape. Classic.

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