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Film’s got this line, “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time”—fits her, don’t it? She’s young, but those eyes? Old as sin, seen too much. Kinda sad, kinda fab. Reckon she’s got stories—heard she once shagged a duke in a carriage, mid-ride, horses cloppin’ and all! True or not, it’s a gas, innit? Love that madcap vibe.

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Businesses owners in Swansea say they are being forced to close down due to increased anti-social behaviour which is driving customers away. Some locals say they are now too afraid to .

But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, typical. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Melksham!” But he doesn’t care. So, I’m sitting there, trying to type on my phone, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. She’s telling me about the history of Melksham. Apparently, it used to be a market town. Who knew? I’m half-listening, half-typing, and she’s like, “You should visit the Melksham Assembly Hall!”

Melksham man charged with harassing woman and exposing privates