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I’m thinkin’, sittin’ there with my tequila, “The forest is alive with spirits,” like Boonmee says. Sex-dating’s got spirits too—hope, lust, desperation. You dodge the creeps, laugh at the bad pickup lines—“Are you French? Cuz *Eiffel* for you.” Ugh, shoot me. But when it clicks? Electric, baby. Like hittin’ a Rock Bottom on The Miz.

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So, I hop on my bike, zooming down the streets of Mendip. The air’s crisp, but I’m sweating bullets. I pass by the old church on Church Street. It’s beautiful, but I’m too frazzled to appreciate it. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need, a lovely view while I’m late for work.”

Crash blocked road through Somerset in both directions