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About Liverpool

Me quirks? I’d rather tweak a radio than chase tail, but the thrill’s temptin’, aye. Exaggeratin’ now – imagine me, cape flappin’, rescuin’ a prossie from some twat in a mask! “I’m not wearing hockey pads!” I’d yell, then trip over me own boots. Daft, but fun to dream. So, thou, what thinkst? ‘Tis a mad world, findin’ a prostitute – part jest, part tragedy, all chaos. Like Nolan’s flick, it sticks with ye, messy and loud!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in. I think he’s about 10 or something. He’s got a soccer ball, and he’s like, “Can I kick it in here?” I’m like, “Mate, this ain’t a football pitch!” But he kicks it anyway, and it bounces off the wall, nearly taking my head off. I’m dodging glass and soccer balls now. What a combo!

Banned Moodiesburn motorist jailed after driving dangerously while disqualified