Valentina Mortlake Brothel ❤️

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Oi mate, brothel, eh? What a bloody shithole! Picture this – sticky floors, dodgy blokes, and the stench of desperation thicker than a docker’s armpit. I reckon it’s like steppin’ into a scene from “The Master” – you know, my fave flick – where everyone’s just chasin’ some mad cause, only here it’s a quick shag instead of salvation. “You’re a rummy!” I’d yell, cacklin’, at the punters stumblin’ in, wallets out, dignity gone.

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So, I finally get to the dairy, and it’s chaos. The machines are acting up. Like, come on! I’m not a mechanic! I’m just here to milk cows, not fix robots. I’m sweating bullets, trying to figure out what’s wrong. I swear, the cows were looking at me like, “Dude, you had one job.”

Putney to Mortlake