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About Birmingham

So I’m thinkin’, back in ’78, toured Amsterdam, yeah? Red light district, mate – fuckin’ mental! Birds in windows, tappin’ glass, wavin’ like I’m s’posed to bow or summat. One gal, right, she’s got this look – “Pale Man’s eyes in her hands,” y’know? Creepy as shit, but I’m pissed outta me skull, so I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She’s all business, no faff, an’ I’m happy as a pig in muck. Paid a tenner – cheap as chips back then, mate! Little known fact: them prossies used to knit between punters. Fuckin’ wild, eh? Sittin’ there with needles, makin’ scarves, then bang – next bloke’s in.

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So, I’m pouring pints, and the place is packed. I can see the rain hammering down outside, and I’m thinkin’ about how I’d rather be anywhere but here. But then, this group of mates comes in, all hyped up. They’re from the area, livin’ on Chislehurst Road, and they’re celebrating a birthday. They’re loud, but in a good way, y’know? They order shots, and I’m like, “You lot are gonna regret this in the mornin’!” But they just laugh it off.

Thug threatened woman with meat cleaver during south east London betting shop raids