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So escort, right—people think it’s all glitz, cash flowin’, champagne poppin’. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t that simple! Some billionaire creep—yeah, “Billionaires should not exist!”—pays big bucks for a date, but the escort’s hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, dealin’ with weirdos. I read once—true story—back in the ‘90s, this escort in Vegas got hired by some casino tycoon just to sit in his penthouse and knit! Knit! For six hours! She made bank, but what a nutjob, right? Laughed my ass off hearin’ that—capitalism’s wild, man!

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So, I head over to her place on The Square. It’s a lovely spot, all quaint and picturesque. But when I get there, the clock is going off like a fire alarm! I mean, seriously, it’s like it’s auditioning for a horror movie. I’m trying to fix it, but it’s like the clock has a mind of its own. I’m sweating bullets, and Mrs. Thompson is just watching me, sipping her tea like it’s the most entertaining show in town.

New Gospel choir, antiques fair and the Eel House in Alresford