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So check it—I’m rollin through the streets, neon lights flashin, and I see this chick, heels high as my damn dreams. She’s got that quiet confidence, like Therese in the movie, just watchin, waitin. I’m like, “Yasss, queen, werk it!” But then—bam!—some crusty dude tries hollerin at her first. Pissed me off, like, who this fool think he is? I’m over here vibin, tryna find my vibe, and he’s messin up the flow. Made me wanna yell, “It’s bad bitch o’clock, step off!”

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After the call, I’m drained. I decide to take a walk around Newarthill to clear my head. I stroll down to the park near the old church on Church St. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, watching the kids play, and for a moment, I forget about the chaos.

Elaine C Smith returning to New College Lanarkshire for one-off performance