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I’m pissed, though—some corners got nothin’! Where’s the action, dang it? Then, bam, I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig. Heart’s racin’—happy as a pig in mud! She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re cleared hot.” Straight outta the movie, y’all! I’m thinkin’, “Larry, you sly dog, you found her!” Ain’t no CIA op, but feels like it!

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I get there, and it’s packed. Like, standing room only. I squeeze in, and the presenter starts talking about some heavy stuff. I’m trying to keep up, fingers flying, but then this guy in the back starts snoring. I mean, c’mon! You’re at a workshop, dude!

North Lanarkshire Council granted extension to temporary road closure concerning Newmains Main Street