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Ruh-roh! Zoinks, man, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Like, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “The New World,” my fave flick, ya know? That Terrence Malick vibe, all dreamy n shit—gets me wonderin how Pocahontas’d handle this sitch. “The sun rises above us,” she’d say, all chill, while I’m losin my Scooby snacks over this!

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Ferriby Road, and I’m like, “Great, another day of plowing.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this massive traffic jam. I mean, c’mon! It’s North Ferriby, not London! Turns out, some bloke in a fancy car decided to park it right in the middle of the road. Like, mate, what were you thinkin’? I’m sittin’ there, engine rumblin’, and I’m just fuming. I could’ve sworn I saw a pigeon laughing at me.

North Ferriby United: Northern Premier League club to be wound up after 85 years