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Little fact for ya—didja know some cultures banned it? Too saucy for the stiff-upper-lip lot! Still, it’s thrived, sneakin’ through history like a cheeky fox. Me, I’m hooked—love how it’s subtle but wild, like nature itself. Probs exageratin’, but feels like a secret rebellion, yeah? Operator life’s stressful—phones ringin’, folk shoutin’—this? This is my escape, my lil island. Like Sam sayin’, “I’m on your side,” to Suzy—erotic-massage is on *my* side, calmin’ me down when I’m knackered.

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So, we’re all laughing, and I’m thinking, “This is the weirdest day ever.” But then, the pirate starts doing tricks with the parrot. It’s flying around the pub, and I’m just there, mouth agape. I mean, who knew Old Harlow could be this entertaining?

Community in mourning for young Harlow Tekkers footballer who passed away