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D’oh! Sex-dating, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like, whoa, it’s wild! Reminds me of “Zero Dark Thirty” – huntin’ for somethin’, right? You’re out there, swipin’ apps, lookin’ for a score. “We gotta find him!” – but it’s a date, not Bin Laden! Ha! Sex-dating’s all sneaky, fast, kinda thrilling. Like, you’re chattin’ someone hot, heart’s racin’, then bam – ghosted! D’oh! Makes me mad as hell, y’know?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, it’s like someone up there decided to dump a bucket of water on us. I’m soaked, my coffee’s ruined, and I’m just sitting there, laughing at the absurdity of it all. Paddock-Wood weather, am I right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s a monsoon.

Community centre dispute nearing finale