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Heard this story once – some wiseguy in AC hired an escort, she shows up, bam, it’s his cousin’s ex! Small fuckin world, right? He’s sittin there, balls blue, thinkin, “I ain’t touchin that!” Laughed my ass off when I heard that. Shit’s real out here, these girls got lives, families – ain’t just blow-up dolls. Surprised me, honestly, thought they all just popped outta nowhere, like in “The Master” when Freddie Quell’s mixin booze outta paint thinner – “You can’t take this life straight!” Fuckin A, you can’t!

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Oh and, listen, I love haulin' down to The Parlour on King Street. That place smells like memories and coffee. The vibe? Pure. Some locals say it's haunted, others love it. As a family psych, I notice the subtleties in the human chatter. You pick up on life's little dramas, ya know? It's like every visit's a therapy session without the couch.

Penkridge crash: Man hit by car driver dies in hospital