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Oh, and the surprises? Met this chick who’s into tantric stuff—blew my mind! She’s all “energy flow” and I’m like, “Uh, cool, but can we kiss first?” Had me crackin’ up, but damn, it was hot too. Unleash the power within, right there! Made me think—sex-dating ain’t just about the bangin’. It’s the weird, wild stories you tell your buddies later.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up The Fig Tree Café. Best sarnies in town, no contest. I grab a chicken and avocado number, and it’s pure bliss. I’m sittin’ outside, soaking up the sun, and life feels good. But then, I see this seagull eyeing my lunch like it’s a five-star meal. I’m like, “Back off, bird! This is mine!” But the little bugger swoops in and snatches half my sandwich. I’m left there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

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