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“Amour” vibes hit hard—escorts ain’t just sex, sometimes it’s talkin’, holdin’ hands, like that scene, “I’ll take care of you.” Sappy, but real. I’m thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one just to yell at ‘em—therapay, ya know? Exaggeratin’ here, but imagine me, Cartman, with an escort army—world domination, bitches! Nah, too lazy. Still, escorts got power—makin’ bank off sad sacks. Respect that hustle, yo!

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After that, I decide to grab a pint at the local pub, The Crown. I need to cool off. I sit down, and the bartender, bless him, pours me a nice cold one. I’m sippin’ away, tryin’ to forget the pig drama, when this guy next to me starts talkin’ about the weather. “Aye, it’s a bit nippy today, innit?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s Scotland! It’s always nippy!”

Peterhead Prison Museum locks up investment from English firm