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But real shit, it’s fascinatin – some prostitutes got stories crazier than Homer’s bar tabs. Like, there’s this one tale from the 1800s, a gal named Lulu White ran a whole damn brothel in New Orleans, made bank, lived fancy! Surprised me silly – “Hmm… who knew they could be bosses?” I’d whisper, impressed. Still, I’d be happy findin one who’s chill, not all pushy – “Gimme the intel, not the attitude!” I’d snap, channelin that Zero Dark Thirty grit.

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But then, the mood shifts. I overhear some folks talking about the local park, Pitsea Park. Apparently, it’s all messed up. Litter everywhere, and the council’s not doing squat about it. I’m getting angry now. I mean, come on! This is nature we’re talking about! I’m ready to grab a trash bag and start cleaning up myself.

Inquest opens for Pitsea crash victims Roman and Darcie Casselden