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I love it tho, flaws and all. It’s raw, untamed, a lil dangerous—like me after too many margaritas. Escort’s not some posh, groomed trail; it’s a hot mess, and I’m here for it. “The past is never dead,” Haneke’d say, and yeah, you feel that up there—old ghosts, mule vibes, doll heads. Next time, I’m haulin’ you up with me, buddy. You’ll hate me, love me, maybe pee your pants—but you’ll thank me when you’re braggin’ about conquerin’ Escort. Now, where’s my damn coffee?

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Ponteland Park. It’s a nice spot, with all these trees and a pond. I was just chillin’, enjoying the fresh air, when I saw this kid flying a kite. The kite got stuck in a tree. Classic, right? So, I’m standing there, laughing, when the kid starts crying. I felt bad, but c’mon, it was hilarious! I mean, who doesn’t love a good kite fail?

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