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Alright, listen up, fam! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause why not? Ya know, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout “Son of Saul” – that flick’s heavy, man, like a punch to the gut. Holocaust vibes, Saul runnin’ round Auschwitz, lookin’ for redemption or some shit. "I must bury my son," he says, all desperate-like. Makes ya wonder – what’s a prostitute’s story, huh? What’s she buryin’?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the chip shop on the way home. You know the one? Best chips in Portadown, hands down. I ordered a portion, and the smell was heavenly. I was like, “Yes, this is what I need!”

Portadown RBL organising annual St Patrick’s Day parade and celebrations