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D’oh! So, sex escort, huh? Man, it’s wild out there. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “There Will Be Blood” – ya know, my fave flick – and it hits me: escortin’s kinda like drillin’ for oil. You dig deep, hopin’ for a gusher, but sometimes ya just get mud. Hah! I seen these gals – and guys too – strutin’ their stuff online, X posts flashin’ pics, all glammed up. Makes me wanna yell, “I drink your milkshake!” ‘Cause they’re suckin’ up attention like Daniel Plainview sucks up oil, ya get me?

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starvin’. I head over to the market on Friargate. Best place for a sarnie, I swear. I grab a bacon butty, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sittin’ there, just enjoyin’ life, when I see this old fella tryin’ to cross the street. He’s takin’ his sweet time, and I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, mate, I’ve got a bacon butty to finish!”

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