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Oi, mate, buckle up! So, I’m a scientist, yeah? Brilliant mind, me, but let’s talk real shit—finding a prossie! I’m knackered from lab crap, right, and I’m thinkin’, “Sod it, I need a laugh, bit of fun!” Like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, yeah? That posh, mental ride with Zero runnin’ about, “Lobby Boy, fetch me a tart!”—but real life ain’t that fancy, innit?

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There's this epic little park, Rainhill Green – a chill oasis with trees that dance in the breeze and a tiny lake where you can almost see reflections of old movie scenes. I had one of my sessions near the park a while back – felt like the trees were nodding in approval. Groovy, baby! Sometimes, when I'm giving a massage, I can practically hear the park laughing, like “Yeah, man, unwind!” (Woah, wait, did I say that out loud? Haha!)

Rainhill High School, St Helens, celebrates the Christmas values of kindness, hope and respect with St Ann’s Church