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Now, *Ida*—that movie’s all bout searchin’, right? “You’re a funny kind of nun,” they say. Escorts got that vibe too—playin’ roles, hidin’ truths. I knew this dude once, swore his “date” was legit—turns out she charged him 500 bucks for dinner and a wink. Funniest shit ever, I laughed till I choked! He was pissed, tho—red face, steam comin’ outta his ears. Me? I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for the story.”

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Anyway, I’m sipping my coffee, and I decide to take a stroll. I hit up Roehampton High Street. It’s got this mix of shops, like a random charity shop next to a posh bakery. I’m thinking, “What’s the deal with that?” I pop into the bakery, and OMG, the pastries! I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I grab a croissant, and it’s like a hug in pastry form.

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