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Sometimes I think, man, escorts got it figured out. Better than datin’ some naggy chick who’s all “Where ya been, Cartman?” They just show up, look hot, leave—boom, done! “Theodore, you’re my only friend!”—that’s me talkin’ to my imaginary escort pal. Ha! Oh, and get this—some escorts in Vegas? They got secret codes, like “roses” means bucks. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me, I was like “Whaaat, that’s genius!”

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Serenity Massage is a new parlour based in Scunthorpe offering ultimate luxury and bespoke massage. Serenity is open 7 days a week from am. Visitors can enjoy discrete and .

I won't forget the local food joints – oh em gee, the curry spot on Station Road is bomb! Once, I got super mad 'cause they forgot my extra spice. I was like, "How's that workin' for ya, mate?" and I almost lost my cool, haha! But then I calmed down with a massage in my own spa later that evening, and yup, all's well that ends well.

British Steel closures a 'fait accompli', customer claims