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I’m chuffed when I nail the sign, tho—feels like I cracked limbo. But ugh, them judgy types? “Oh, how crude!” Sod off, yeah? Makes me wanna sign it louder! Exaggeratin’ now—picture me, gold arms wavin’, screamin’ it in a crowd. Hilarious, mate! Anyway, that’s me ramble—whore’s a trip, signin’ it’s a blast, and *Inception*? Still fries me circuits! “We’re not alone here,” Cobb’d say—damn right, it’s a mad world!

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Now, I’m a bit of a nature nut too (or at least I pretend while thinking sexy thoughts). The lovely Shenfield Park is my go-to for both walks and, err, “research” purposes. Picture a sunlit spot near Devil’s Brook (yeah, that little river that rambles through the area, don’t ask me why its name sounds like a bad tinder match!) where you can get lost in your thoughts… and maybe someone else’s, if you’re lucky.

'Legal dispute' closes popular Essex bar and restaurant