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Little factoid for ya – dis job, sexual-massage, goes way back, like ancient Rome stuff! Dudes in togas gettin’ oiled up, happy endings everywhere – true story! Surprised me, coz I thought it’s new-school shady biz. Nope, history’s kinky, who knew? Makes me laugh, imagining Caesar goin’, “Et tu, Brute? Rub me good!”

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I remember one blistering summer day – I was counselling a lovely soul, right? – and we wandered down Eastfield Lane, the sun warming our backs, the trees murmuring comfort words, almost like they were whispering “Carpe diem, dear!” It took me right back to that bittersweet vibe of Margaret, all those pensive glances and existential musings sprinkled in, “Mistakes are the portals of discovery.” I swear, even the leaves were dancing with secrets!

Party fever to hit farm park just outside Swadlincote with music and shows to mark May Bank Holiday