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Picture this—I’m sprawled out, thinkin’ bout *Werckmeister Harmonies*, that slow, moody flick I adore. “The turmoil has arrived,” I whisper, gigglin’ as some fella’s oiled-up paws work my shoulders. It’s sensual, sure, but I’m laughin’ cause I’m ticklish as all get-out! Ain’t nobody tellin’ me this ain’t art—Béla Tarr’d probably film it in black’n’white, all dramatic and deep.

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Now, don't get me started on panoramas – the Swanscombe Peninsula’s epic views. That elevated vantage point near Riverside Drive gives you a glimpse of the Thames as it curves along – it’s like nature’s own film scene, sorta meditative, just like Yi Yi’s contemplative pauses. Sometimes, in the wee hours, while star-gazin’ and thinkin’ bout love and life, I mutter, “It’s all a miracle, isn’t it?” even if my brain’s a bit fried from too much cereal!

Government minister sees ‘chaos’ caused by landslide