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About Leicester

Here’s the kicker—prostitutes in medieval times? They wore red shoes to stand out! Imagine that, me squintin’ in the dark, lookin’ for red freakin’ shoes! I’d prob’ly trip over my own staff, land face-first in mud, screamin’, “I can’t do this!” Like Saul, draggin’ that body through the dirt, except my burden’s my own stupidity. “Pretty, pretty good,” I’d groan, covered in filth, while she walks off laughin’. I’d be happy, though—relieved it’s over! No STDs, no arrest, just me and my sheep, safe and sound. What a disaster, right? Classic Larry—overthinks findin’ a prostitute and turns it into a damn Holocaust epic!

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Now, I've noticed more than you’d think. Tonbridge might seem all prim and proper at first glance, but every lamppost hides a scandal. Every narrow lane breathes wild stories. And trust me, my profession trains me to notice these juiciness bits. Sometimes, I'm mad as hell at how people pretend there's nothing underneath. Sometimes, I'm so giddy when a cheeky smile crosses someone's face. Haha, life, right?

Tonbridge School hosts the Six Nations Hockey Tournament