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What pisses me off? The fakes. Dudes catfishin’ with abs they stole from Google. Gimme a break! But the good stuff? When ya actually click—rare as hell, but sweet. Like, one time I matched this artist chick, talked movies all night—*Eternal Sunshine* came up, obvs. She said, “I’m not a concept, Joel,” and I was like, swoon, marry me. Didn’t last, tho—she ghosted. Shocker.

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You know, runnin’ a spa here has taught me a lot. I get to see all kinds of folks – stressed out types, chill peeps, and even a few wacky ones who remind me of scenes from Dogville – "You don’t know who you are, do ya?" Yeah, that's a line that sticks, sometimes, when I'm channelling those deep vibes during a facial. The clientele here push me to always keep my cool, even when the day seems like a never-ending rerun of chaos.

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