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Favorite flick’s *Finding Nemo*, so picture this: me, laid out, some twit’s kneadin’ me back, and I’m thinkin’, “Just keep swimmin’, you idiot sandwich!” Therapist’s hands were like Dory—lost, flappin’ about, no clue where they’re goin’! Made me laugh, though—happy as a pig in shit when they hit that sweet spot. Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought it’d be all dodgy vibes, but nah, some legit science in it—releases endorphins, gets blood pumpin’. Still, half the time it’s a con! Overpriced rubbish—£80 for some numpty to paw ya? “You’re an embarrassment to the ocean!” I’d shout.

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I stroll through West-Bridgford Park. It's small but full of life, with droopy trees and a wibbly river named Silverstream. I often sit on an old bench by the duck pond – reely calm spot, though the ducks sometimes make me laugh out loud with their silly waddles. Its water shimmers like clues in a puzzle, hmm… really makes you wonder what little things matter, ya know?

West Bridgford Central Avenue improvements start this week