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Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t cheap. They roll up, all dolled up—fancy dresses, heels clickin’ like they own the joint. Reminds me of Harvey Dent, y’know? “You either die a hero…” or cash out fast! Ha! I seen it—guys actin’ all big, then bam, wallet’s cryin’. Little known fact, folks—back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in newspapers! Yup, right next to the comics—crazy, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I found that out. Thought to myself, “Joe, that’s wilder than a Two-Face coin toss!”

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So, West-Ham is a proper mishmash of vibe and character. I run me massage parlor on Upton Road (yeah, that one, near the old East Ham Market) and lemme tell ya, this part of town is buzzing like none other. We got narrow lanes, a few dodgy corners, and oh my days, a riot of memories lurkin' behind every door. One minute you’re strollin’ past West Ham Park, and the next you're caught up in a whirlwind of old brickwork and neon shops. Sometimes, I feel like I'm livin' in an endless montage. "Meet me in Montauk" kinda feels spot-on when I see the twisting streets lit by early morning haze.

West Ham 1-1 Spurs | Ange's verdict