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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! Erotic-massage—where do I even start? It’s like, hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’, tension meltin’—bam! Judge Judy here, and I ain’t got time for nonsense. Don’t pee on my leg and call it a spa day, okay? I’m talkin’ real deal—erotic-massage ain’t just some rubdown. It’s art, like Wes Anderson frammin’ up “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Picture this: soft lights, scented candles, some dame or dude workin’ magic on your back. “Very good, Monsieur Gustave,” I’d say, if it’s done right.

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After my caffeine fix, I decided to stroll down to the Westgate Pavilion. It’s this cute little spot where they have events and stuff. I thought maybe I’d find some local art or something. But no, it was just a bunch of kids running around, and I’m like, “Where’s the art?!” I was kinda bummed, but then I saw this street performer. He was juggling flaming torches! I mean, who does that? I was both impressed and terrified.

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