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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking back, and I saw this guy on the corner of Stirling Road. He was trying to fix his bike, and it looked like a scene from a comedy show. He was wrestling with it, cursing like a sailor. I couldn’t help but laugh. Then, he looked at me, and I was like, “Need a hand?” He just glared at me. I mean, come on, mate! I’m just trying to help!

A Kelpies-style sculpture or a Murray mural? How Dunblane locals want to honour Sir Andy's legacy