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About Newcastle

Surprised me how many married folks sneak in. Fact: 30% of Tinder’s got rings—sneaky bastards! Caught one once, saw the tan line—busted! “Who are you?”—channeling Memento, I was shook. Kicked his ass out, felt like a badass. Oh, and the profiles? “Just here for fun”—duh, we know, Chad! Snarky side-eye from me, coz I can see the bullshit from my house too!

The Observer understands that Jamie McMeechan has been moved out of the estate in Dunblane.

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Then, I decided to head to the park. It’s called the Dunblane Memorial Park, and it’s gorgeous. I plopped down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids were playing, dogs were running around, and I was just there, feeling all the feels. But then, this kid ran past me, and his ice cream went flying. SPLAT! Right on my shoe. I was like, “Great, now I’m part of the ice cream club.”

Labour’s David Wilson wins Dunblane and Bridge of Allan by-election