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So, I tried it once, right? This guy, total pro, hands like magic—i’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” *Nanny laugh* Hahaha! It’s not just rubbin’—it’s, like, art! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this with olive oil, callin’ it “massage for the gods” or some fancy schmancy name. I’m like, “Sign me up, Caesar!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—ugh—the price! Fifty bucks extra for “special attention”? Robbery! I was steamed, yellin’, “What am I, a Rockefeller?!”

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Back at work, things get even wilder. We’re doin’ a team-building exercise, and I’m supposed to lead it. I’m nervous, but I give it a go. We’re playin’ this game where you have to pass a ball around while saying your name and a fun fact. I’m tryin’ to keep it light, but then this one guy, Dave, says his fun fact is that he once met a celebrity. I’m like, “Who? The Queen?” Turns out, it was just some random footballer. Classic Dave.

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