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Me, I’d love it—total control, power trip! Like drivin’ dat War Rig, full throttle! Favorite part? Da weirdos—once heard a guy asked for massage vith a snake! A SNAKE! I laughed so hard, nearly popped a vein! “Witness me!” I’d shout, flexin’ at da madness. Surprised me how crazy folks get—keeps it fun, ya?

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So, I’m cleaning up this mess, and I hear a knock on the door. It’s old Mrs. Thompson from Mill Road. Bless her heart, she’s like 90 and still thinks she can bake. She’s got this ancient recipe for scones, and she wanted me to fix her oven. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. T, I’ll be right over.” But I’m thinking, “Why do I always get roped into this?”

Grieving dog lover's warning after puppy dies from highly contagious virus