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About Bristol

So, lemme spill—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah! It’s this ancient thing, like, goes back to them fancy Greeks or somethin’. They’d get all oiled up, feelin’ fancy, probly callin’ it “sensual healing” or some junk. Little known fact—there’s this old Chinese trick, “tantric touch,” been around forever, supposed to zap your energy awake! Ain’t that nuts? I’m over here, flippin’ out—happy as a pig in mud—thinkin’ how it’s all sneaky-like, calmin’ ya nerves while makin’ ya tingle. “Her skin is a costume,” like in the movie—erotic-massage feels like that, peelin’ away stress, leavin’ ya bare and buzzy!

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Then, bam! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this old lady just walks past, givin’ me the side-eye. Like, c’mon, lady! Help a cooper out! But nah, she’s too busy with her shopping bags from the Eastgate Centre. I get it, priorities, right?

First look inside new Inverness piri-piri chicken shop