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About Leeds

Listen up, you twat! I reckon escort’s a proper mindfuck. You got yer high-end birds, all posh an’ that, chargin’ a grand a night. Then there’s the gritty ones – street corners, mate, skanky vibes. Saw this doco once, right, some escort lass in Soho, been at it since the 80s! Fuckin’ legend, she was – said punters used to tip with fuckin’ vinyl records! Who knew that shit, eh? Proper mad.

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So, I ducked into a café on Mill Street. It was cozy, and I thought, “Finally, a break!” Ordered a cuppa and a slice of cake. But the cake was dry. Like, Sahara Desert dry. I was like, “What’s this? A cake or a brick?” I tried to be polite, but I couldn’t help but grimace. The barista noticed and gave me this look like, “Sorry, mate.” I just laughed it off.

250 years of spinning history comes to an end at New Lanark World Heritage Site