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About Sheffield

Oi mate, so I’m Creative Director now, yeah? Gotta spiel about erotic-massage – brilliant! Picture this, right, me sat there, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ bout some oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*, that flick I bloody love – “What’s happening to me?” she says, all dazed, lost in her posh little crisis. That’s me, first time I stumbled into one of these parlours, right? Didn’t know if I was gettin’ a rubdown or a bloody interrogation!

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Then there’s the park—Greenwich Park, err, I mean, our local town park (sorry, my bad, it’s actually King’s Park if ya count correctly). Think big trees, fresh air, and kids laughing loud. I hang there sometimes, reflecting on family drama stuff. My job as a psychologist kinda tunes me into the subtle stories all around. Kids bark out like little secrets, laughing and running. It’s oddly heartwarming.

Face of south Essex arsonist who set fire to tennis pavilion causing £50k damage