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About San Jose

Last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—don’t tell Laura, she’d skin me alive—lookin’ for some action. Saw this gal, legs longer’n a Texas highway, and I’m thinkin’, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!”—like I got her address locked in my brain! I ain’t no genius, but I know a deal when I see one. She’s wavin’, I’m sweatin’—hotter’n a billy goat in a pepper patch! Paid her fifty bucks—prob’ly too much, but I’m a sucker for a smile. “Righteous bucks,” she says, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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First stop? The coffee shop on Butler Ave. You know the one—Java Junction. I needed my fix. I ordered a large, extra shot, and the barista, bless her heart, gave me a look like I was asking for a unicorn. “You sure about that?” she said. I was like, “Lady, I need to function!”

Car wreck near Ambler Avenue ends with car inside house