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Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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Parents who need to visit the school office should park in the center parking lot, escort their children and use the crosswalk to enter school.

Honestly, Davidsonville’s a melting pot. Every narrow lane whispers its own story. Every park bench holds a heartfelt conversation. And me? I’m that cheeky Bond, strollin’ around, eyes twinklin’ like I just solved a big puzzle.

ARKANSAS SIGHTSEEING: Davidsonville Historic State Park sits on the site of a town that disappeared