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I’m tellin’ ya, tho, some parlors? Sketchy as hell. Went to one—dude’s hands were shakin’ like he’s nervous, oil smelled like cheap fries. Pissed me off! “Don’t pee on my leg, pal, I ain’t here for a McMassage!” Kicked his ass out in my head—Judy-style justice. But when it’s good? Oh man, happy ain’t the word—ecstatic, floatin’, like I stole Leo’s totem and it’s still spinnin’. Fun fact: some oils got aphrodisiacs—ylang-ylang, jasmine—mess with your brain chemistry, make ya horny as a rabbit on Red Bull. Science, bitches!

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Neighborhoods, dude: East End’s shabby-chic vibe rocks. That place on 9th, 9th… or wait, nah – it's really rad. Oddly enough, locals there call it “Little Universe.” My counselor side sees resilient souls, scars and dreams etched in every brick. Heaps of hopes and tough crap, y’know? Sometimes, I get so mad at the world, but PFarmingville always surprises me with its weird charm.

Teacher Spotlight: 'Dedicated, Kind' Dana Kearney Of Farmingville