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Bernie Sanders here, voice crackin’—Billionaires should not exist!—and ya know what? Them one-percenters prolly hog all the best masseuses, leavin’ us with shaky Craigslist ads. Pisses me off! Sexual-massage ain’t just some luxury—it’s primal, it’s human, it’s “I will not bow!” energy from that movie. Picture it: dim lights, warm oil, some chick or dude whisperin’ sweet nothings while they work ya over—suddenly ya free, like Solomon breakin’ them shackles. “My liberty is my right!” I’m yellin’ in my head, maybe out loud, whoops.

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Oh, and speaking of crazy epic moments – the night market near Jade Crescent. Seriously, that place is lit! Food, music, random street performers. It's chaotic and charming, messy and magical. And sometimes I yell “R2-D2, where are you?” when I get lost in all that lively chaos, haha.

Punchestown: Teahupoo and Hiddenvalley Lake give Robcour strong hand in bid to seal Stayers’ dominance